Being single can be tough…Sure, there are plenty of fish in the sea, but finding the one that’s right for you can seem impossible. They say you have to kiss a lot of frogs before finding your prince, so you’re going to go on a lot of first dates before you (FINALLY) find Mr. or Ms. Right. Here’s a list of people to look out for, and probably run from, when venturing out into the wild world of dating.
First date with the Clinger
This person will have named your children before the waiter fills your drink order. She knows everything about you already because she’s Facebook stalked you for hours. Well, when she wasn’t busy packing her belongings, because as soon as dinner is over she’ll be moving in with you. I hope you aren’t busy on June 6th of next year, because that’s the date she’s picked for your wedding.
Mr. Political Opinion
You’re a pretty middle-of-the-road girl when it comes to politics, and you try to keep from discussing that sort of thing before you get to know someone…But TOO BAD because this dude has opinions and he wants you to hear them. Any opinions that differ from his are “literally the dumbest thing” he’s ever heard. He somehow manages to take the exact opposite view from yours no matter what you say. You are for increasing the budget for schools? He wants to cut educational funding! You think the speed limit in residential neighborhoods should be lowered to 25 miles per hour? He wants to speed through there at 45 miles per hour! You love kittens and puppies? HE HATES KITTENS AND PUPPIES.
The Jobless Wonder
Lives with mom and dad? Check. “Between jobs” right now? Check. Quit work to pursue a dream? Check. This guy or gal isn’t so much interested in your sparkling personality as they are your wallet. They’re desperate to get out of the house and eating anything but mom’s meatloaf would be a huge plus. This type of person may be up front with you (“Uh, you’re paying, right?”) or they may just excuse themselves to use the restroom and never come back. If you think you’re dealing with a Jobless Wonder, make a quick trip to the restroom early in your date to “freshen up” and see if the windows are big enough for your date to fit through.
Mr. Eye Candy
This Mr. is all about one thing and one thing only. He’ll be sizing you up the second you meet in front of the restaurant. He’ll “accidentally” grab a handful of your back when guiding you to the table…And while you’re talking he won’t exactly be looking at your eyes. He might actually wait until dinner is over to invite you to his place for “drinks”, but it’s likely that he’ll attempt to skip dinner altogether. Watch out for frequent “napkin adjusting” and attempts to play a little game of footsie with you.
The Beauty Queen
This gal never met a reflective surface she didn’t like. She will be at least 20 minutes late (that messy, and winged eyeliner takes time, after all), and the first person she greets upon arriving at the restaurant will be her own reflection in the window behind you. Don’t expect much of a two-way conversation from her. She’ll tell you ALL about herself, but the second you attempt to tell her about your life she’ll loose herself in her own gaze…in the back of her spoon.
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