Dating is hard, especially for those who are trying to date in a time when the internet is such a big way for people to meet and mingle.  Though the online dating has opened up the doors to allow more people to meet a greater amount of people and keep in touch with them, it has also changed the rules of dating.  

Why does this matter ?

When things are so fast-paced and quick swipes to the right are the name of the game, what can you do to make sure you stand out and score a second date?  Below is a quick guide to help navigate the first date, and make sure you get closer to seeing that special someone again.  

Ask important and personal questions

When you’re on the date, it’s important to make sure you take time to focus on the person you’re with without sounding like you’re conducting an interview.  When you ask questions, make sure that they are personal, and thought out.  For example, instead of asking a basic question like what your date does for work, you could asked them what was it that drew them to their line of work, and what makes them feel fulfilled in the workplace.  These questions will clue the person in to how considerate and thoughtful you are, and also help you get to know them on a deeper level.

Listen earnestly

It’s not enough to just ask the right questions—you’ve also got to make sure that you listen to their answers.  Make sure that you are maintaining conversational eye contact and confirming what they say with a nod or an affirmation, even if you are dating a friend.  Show them that their answer is important, and not just a pause in the conversation before you get to talk again.  If you ask follow-up questions, try to use some of the words they used to show that you’re listening.

Compliment them, but mean it

A partner should be someone you’re proud to be with, and so on the date, look for the things you admire about this person.  When you do compliment them, make sure you mean it.  They’ll be able to feel your intentions through your words, and get a glimpse into how you feel.  Make sure you don’t compliment them too much though, as it will make you seem insincere.  

Be polite to service staff

If you’re going out on a date that involves a restaurant or a bar, make sure that you are polite to the staff that are serving you.  Nothing screams “stay away” like a person who is rude to those serving them.  If you want your date to see your best self, make sure you’re also showing it to those who are being paid to do things for you.

Have few expectations

Nothing kills the vibe of a good date like one person having unrealistic expectations for where the date will lead to.  Even if you don’t mean to color the date, having plans to take your date home at the end of the night, or already knowing what your plans are for the second date may come through during the date and sour the feelings of newness and discovery.  In a worst-case scenario, it may even scare your date away if you come across as too eager and needy.